"I had that gleaming countenance you see on people who’ve just come back from the spa. This is why they do it, I thought. No wonder there are more and more metrosexual men. Why wouldn’t you want to look slightly less ghastly? I bless their rage against the dark, saluting them as they pass by into a future of prolonged sexual plausibility, while I remain hobbled by my father’s midcentury notion of manhood, that any male who spent more than five seconds considering his physical appearance might as well be living in Liberace’s guesthouse."